I long for companions on this journey.
I long for people who care as deeply as
I do about the work of ….of……of…..creating and re-creating the world according
to the imagination of god.
From somewhere there is planted in our
DNA a seed, a picture, images of how life might be if we lived according to the
wisdom of the sages.
I’ve caught glimpses of how it just
might be. Like pearls on a string, I’ve experienced moments of peace and wonder
and the glory of grace abounding.
·
childhood wonder as I wandered thru the
woods, played along the shore, dove under water to see another world alive beyond
the streets and sidewalks I tread
·
extended family and friends coming
together to sing and laugh and tell stories and feast
·
the satisfaction of creating an event,
with a team, that lifted the hearts of a whole high school community of
students and teachers – celebrating the hidden talents among us
·
the sweetness of sharing vulnerabilities
with another skin to skin; the excitement of passions stirred together creating a hunger and
a grasping as if this white water river might actually be contained, bottled,
and sold
·
the sharing of carefree good times with
friends who make me laugh and shed the self-judgments of insecurities to
discover that in being known and loved there is a security deeper than my own
defenses could ever create.
·
wandering in cultures strange and
discovering what is common to all
·
working hard together to meet our
bottom line needs on a common project but for a cause greater than the bottom
line. Celebrating a Thanksgiving table with diverse cultures, sexualities,
faiths, young and old, and using ritual to capture the unspeakable essence of
what binds us
·
the way a birth brings the joy we
thirst for and how it gathers us like wild beasts at a watering hole to drink
deeply
·
and how death stops us still to see
what we take daily for granted
·
and perhaps my favourite - when a
person’s courageous path through the death of ego results in a re-birth of hope
and purpose inspired by the source of life we call love of neighbor
- re-discovered in the love of self deeper than awards, achievements, or honours
might ever bring
These priceless pearls of course are
strung on the string of suffering that is living. Spoiled nature, broken
hearts, the sting of betrayals, the wounds of innocence lost in the mud of
disillusion, failures of spirit, failures of generosity, failures of solidarity
when most needed.
This string of experience is a long,
long, line that sustains poverty in a world where self-judgments and
self-hatred turn to blame, anger, revenge and all the petty desires we each and
every one know. How my need for control causes me to twist my better nature,
shrink my boundaries of care with rationalizations, and confine my resources to
what’s good for me and mine.
And yet.
All of those pearls on that string make
me hunger and thirst and search for more. Even if it means risking more
failures, more betrayals, more spoiling of the safe status quo on the plateau
where I now live.
I’m searching for companions who also
want to jump into the whitewater raft and risk losing it all for the thrill of
adventure, for the price of my life, for the hope of experiencing once again
those moments of Kin-dom. Those moments that ring true like a bell. Where we
experience how god imagines us to be, where god urges us to go, where god’s
presence is so full and present we can’t help but sing and dance to the beat
our of hearts desires meeting.
Or is god even more present in the
suffering? When there is no evidence of grace, no trace of mercy, no hope of
solidarity, no justice, healing or hope. Where we look and fail to see evidence
of a divine creator. Isn’t that where god most is? Where god and our ancestors watch and wait
for those whose own empty broken hearts intuit - and cannot resist - the call to
create, to re-create the conditions in the clam shell that produce pearls.
I’m searching for companions because I’m
too scared, too weak, too selfish to go it alone.
Will you come along? Will you wait for me to catch up? Will you share your pearls? Will you risk telling me of broken dreams? Who might we bring along? Who might we meet?
1 comment:
Allan, this is one of the most profound of your "wanderings". It is a joy to read, and what a vivid image on which to string your wisdom. The point that leaped out at me most is the question about suffering, and how it could be/is an necessary part of the vision you are glimpsing. Who will dare to name this and live it fully? They are the ones you seek.
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