Thursday, November 15, 2012

fall fell

the grey skies now outnumber the sunny
dropped in for a visit they did – which was cool
but when they moved in to stay
when my back was turned - without even asking
as welcome as an old-college, couch-surfing friend
you gotta wonder – how long clouds? How long? 
and the river flows

then the temperature dropped from beneath my feet
and now - what the fuck?
I’ve got to wear socks
cause the river flows

this really isn’t happening is it?
where did all the leaves go?
like the poignant moments at the end of a summer romance
they flared up all red and yellow and seared into my heart
and I told that lie again
that I would never forget
wanting to believe I could hold onto that beauty forever…
but the river flows

the wild north winds tore those coloured leaves from my fingers
the rain, the rain, the rains pelted
transforming the river where I swam to cool the summer’s heat
to think I welcomed how it stole the day’s hot fun and cooled my bones
washed away the salty sweat of outdoor sex
as the river flows

Now those lifegiving waters have turned on me
a plunge in them sucks the air from my lungs
and my brain shifts from lazy dazed philosophies
to sudden single-mindedness
and recover from this cold-hearted, life-sucking loss of teenage passions
wrap myself in wooly clothes and wooden walls to hold the heat inside
while the river flows

the prospect of winter
gives a young soul new purpose
sex n drugs n rock n roll
must now be scheduled to fit within
the work of working
til work will work it out 
into a plan
for shoveling snow
to dig for gold
to get to work
to find the way
to help each other
work it out to buy
a better bigger shovel
to clear the way
to get to work
to wonder why
I forgot to pray
for help to find
a better way to work
my heart and mind
and body and soul
into a holy flaming
work of art-some making
instead of faking the great great
birth of god hidden within
the tv’s heatless fire
sucking the life from
all the work it takes
to just get by
to try to find
the fire that won’t go out
as the river flows

the river knows
I don’t like to lose
but can’t avoid the game
and all the gear it takes to keep what’s warm inside my soul
from freezing out - in the great outdoors
the ones who get pushed aside
forgotten in my rush to work it out,
to just get past this cold cold time
to get to the end of the story
the end of the rainbow
when spring will solve all my worries
when the nuts I’ve stored, and got to know, will finally run out
and my Hope will last until that day when She returns
in the river’s flow

but here I am
not there not then
I can’t remember so I can’t begin
the summer’s gone, the winter’s closing in
I’ve fallen still
my work is done
so instead I’ll play
with the angel who’s arrived just now
we’ll put our hands into the Maker’s making
of turning seasons neverending
let an ancient fire burn away our heart’s desire
the comforts and the claims
the answers and the gains
and we’ll spread those ashes artfully
upon the river’s flow

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